Aka: How being a manipulative kid shaped me into a strategic business owner.

I didn’t find out until I was an adult that I was a very manipulative child and I used this power of manipulation to create my environment. If I wanted my sister to stay out of our shared room, I’d turn on a movie to watch and then go to my room when she started watching it. If I wanted my younger brothers to go to bed early, I took them outside and played with them before dinner and gave them a bath.

This manipulation of the circumstances allowed me to control the outcome. As a very young child, I figured out my mom liked agreeable children who did everything they were asked. I became that child. Why? There was something in it for me. Often I wanted – and received – a trip to the library, a new book, or a piece of candy. Was this being manipulative? Yes. Was my mother also being manipulative? Yes. Is it good or bad? You can judge for yourself.

I feel it’s the way the world works and you can choose how to use/experience it in your way. It depends on how you use this power. You can call this becoming controlling and manipulative. Or you can choose to look at the fact that I was always looking forward and deciding what I wanted the outcome to be and then figuring out how I had to show up to lean the outcome in my favor.

In business, this is a very good skill. Would you agree? Let’s say I walk into a business networking event tomorrow evening. I know I need two new clients to move my business into the red this month – or I have a goal of 5 new clients by the end of the year. I know that two new clients for me usually translates into about 4-5 connections during networking events. Now I have a goal and I can be sure to connect with 5 people before I leave the event.  

It never occurred to me, until about 15 years ago, that others don’t think this way with their business and their lives. What?! Even football players use a “playbook” as their strategy guide. But business owners don’t look at their business planning and goal setting as a strategy guide. They don’t look ahead toward the outcome and walk through a strategy to get there. Think about every superhero story you read/watch. There is often a time in the plot where the hero has to decide between using their powers for good or bad. You have this power, too!

Now, I will warn you, if you start looking at your business with strategy and manipulating the outcome, there are a few things that might hang you up.

1. You can absolutely use your powers for evil. As we see in every superhero story (and I saw in myself at times), you can become very manipulative and controlling and a little self-centered on your own agenda in situations.

2. You will only succeed if you learn how to use manipulation and strategy to get a win-win for everyone.

3. Sometimes the outcome doesn’t match what you thought would get you there. The path to our goals sometimes becomes muddled and

One of my clients said, “I love to work with you because you’re always thinking ahead for the next step and point me in new directions. It’s like you’re always thinking of the next best strategy for my business.”

Now is a great time of the year to get your strategy playbook ready and moving down the right path. Let me know if you need any support and manipulation.